Why I’m Not on PrEP: Bryant
Bryant Norton Professional Headshot
Hey there! My name’s Bryant (he/him) and as I’m writing this, I’m a research assistant on the PrEP4Teens Team. When you read this? Who knows. Maybe I’ve taken over the world! Or, more realistically, maybe I’ve finally gotten something other than P4T blogposts published (fingers crossed).
I’ve worked on this project for some time now, writing blogposts and helping the big bosses stay organized and doing all the boring admin work. Along the way, I’ve picked up a ton of info about sexual health and PrEP since joining the team (my bosses are all PrEP experts. I’m still learning). So, I know things about PrEP and sexual health—I should be on PrEP, right?
Well, I’m not. Even though I spend most of my days immersed in PrEP information and conversations about how we can better spread the word about PrEP to teens across Chicago, I found that there’s actually not really a reason for me to be on PrEP right now. Sometimes that makes me feel a little guilty—like, how do I share this information about PrEP when I’m not on it myself? Doesn’t that make me a fraud? The main purpose of PrEP4Teens is to help empower people to make educated decisions about PrEP, not to get them on PrEP, so to that end, no, I’m not a fraud. Phew.
The reason I decided PrEP wasn’t for me, at least right now in my life, was twofold: one, because it sounded like a daunting conversation to have with my parents, who I still rely on for insurance. Good thing we have some resources here to help you navigate that! The second reason is that I’m in a long-term, monogamous relationship. We’re committed to one another, and have been for a couple of years now. It was a long journey to find one another, but we’re together, and quite frankly, couldn’t be happier.
Disney World Selfie, Bryant Norton
Since I was just starting out my career as a sexual health research assistant at the beginning of our relationship, I wasn’t all the way in the know about how certain HIV tests work—I suggested we both get tested multiple times before fully sexually committing to one another. Now, I know a bit better. You really only need one high-quality test (like a blood test from a local clinic) to know your status, almost with certainty, but these conversations are important to have regularly. Sometimes, expectations and wants in a relationship may change, and assumptions that used to be right might be different now. Ongoing communication is the key to making sure both partners are in alignment.
Once we both found that we were negative, we decided that neither of us needed to be on PrEP. It was a big decision! It involves trusting one another and communicating often. We’re strictly monogamous, but not everyone is interested in that kind of relationship, either, and that’s okay! There are so many healthy open relationships out there. We just found what works for us. If we had decided (or, decide in the future) that we wanted our level of openness in the relationship to change, it would be important for us to get tested regularly.
“But what if one of you had been positive?” I hear you ask (Yes, I heard you. I can read your thoughts. It’s an office skill). If one of us had been positive, then we would have sought out advice from a provider right away and gotten on medication to lead to an undetectable HIV status, for one. And then the other would have gone on PrEP, at least for the time being.
And what if we aren’t always together? Well, first of all, good luck with that. I snatched him off of Tinder within 24 hours. Second of all, if we aren’t always together, I, personally, am definitely going on PrEP to make sure all of those rebounds I’ll be hooking up with are safe rebounds.
Honestly, though… I don’t really seeing myself ever needing to go on PrEP. And that’s okay.
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